








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5030 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4589 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3788 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1363 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,656 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 443 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bremer | 63% | 56 |
| #2 | Knee Gears | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Sauvage Extraordinair | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | CNR | 57% | 137 |
| #5 | Kuzon | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CNR | 19 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Anne'sFrank Peek♿ | 9 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Jarad | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | jari | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | ✪ Bremer | 6 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CNR | 679 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | Jarad | 283 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Anne'sFrank Peek♿ | 203 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Bremer | 167 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wenglos | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |





