








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 247 | 19% |
| Smokes | 327 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 438 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 310 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,762 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saber-Shark | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | ツ ReezyTheRaccoon ツ | 51% | 125 |
| #3 | eneri | 45% | 184 |
| #4 | Señor Vac | 45% | 119 |
| #5 | Düsen Demon Ghost | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cockroach | 44% | 48 |
| #8 | BumbleBee | 43% | 23 |
| #9 | earth lizard markus | 43% | 47 |
| #10 | Kaiju No. 8 | 41% | 63 |
| #11 | FishindaBowl | 38% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | 37 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | ツ ReezyTheRaccoon ツ | 19 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | eneri | 17 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | FishindaBowl | 15 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Cockroach | 13 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiju No. 8 | 168 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Señor Vac | 165 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | earth lizard markus | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | FishindaBowl | 73 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cockroach | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ ReezyTheRaccoon ツ | +6.42 | 83 | 44 |
| #2 | earth lizard markus | +1.28 | 72 | 47 |
| #3 | Cockroach | +0.97 | 48 | 44 |
| #4 | Kaiju No. 8 | -0.45 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | Saber-Shark | -0.46 | 67 | 47 |





