








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1005 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1080 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 563 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,942 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ ReezyTheRaccoon ツ | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | sigbro62 | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | geckooo | 45% | 119 |
| #4 | earth lizard markus | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | eneri | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | BumbleBee | 32% | 19 |
| #10 | Saber-Shark | 29% | 21 |
| #11 | Kimbo Nice | 26% | 19 |
| #12 | FishindaBowl | 24% | 33 |
| #13 | Samanuel El Jackson | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geckooo | 24 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Kaiju No. 8 | 15 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Cockroach | 10 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | Kimbo Nice | 7 | 0.0176 |
| #5 | FishindaBowl | 5 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ ReezyTheRaccoon ツ | +7.55 | 84 | 33 |
| #2 | sigbro62 | +3.47 | 80 | 20 |
| #3 | earth lizard markus | +2.24 | 71 | 42 |
| #4 | Kaiju No. 8 | +1.25 | 65 | 47 |
| #5 | Samanuel El Jackson | +0.63 | 52 | 63 |





