










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1698 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2199 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2189 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2226 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,387,460 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KräuterKeule | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | sigbro62 | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | Saber-Shark | 51% | 185 |
| #4 | Kaiju No. 8 | 51% | 79 |
| #5 | earth lizard markus | 47% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saber-Shark | 43 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | eneri | 20 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ツ ReezyTheRaccoon ツ | 16 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | FishindaBowl | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Señor Vac | 9 | 0.0148 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ ReezyTheRaccoon ツ | +6.75 | 84 | 46 |
| #2 | KräuterKeule | +5.28 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | sigbro62 | +3.17 | 78 | 23 |
| #4 | earth lizard markus | +2.62 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | Saber-Shark | +1.47 | 78 | 43 |





