








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 29% |
| Smokes | 639 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 483 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 543 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,540 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞ | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | ar1don | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | shiine | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | DariusTJP | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | gozu | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | CampeR_ | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | Mr.Breaktime | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | Swynnix | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | ΞRNIE™ | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | pr0mise | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gozu | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | shiine | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | ✞ | 2 | 0.0225 |
| #4 | CampeR_ | 1 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Mr.Breaktime | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shiine | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | gozu | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mr.Breaktime | 47 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | CampeR_ | 39 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | ΞRNIE™ | 21 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DariusTJP | +2.59 | 93 | 13 |
| #2 | Mr.Breaktime | +2.51 | 94 | 69 |
| #3 | shiine | +2.19 | 80 | 71 |
| #4 | ✞ | +2.12 | 82 | 69 |
| #5 | mYTHAEL | +1.81 | 82 | 72 |





