








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1027 | 35% |
| Smokes | 866 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 316 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 742 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,010 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xirt | 94% | 17 |
| #2 | Ravenzs | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | hunter | 89% | 18 |
| #4 | loltrip | 88% | 17 |
| #5 | jfneidert | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | hunter | 89% | 18 |
| #4 | loltrip | 88% | 17 |
| #5 | jfneidert | 58% | 45 |
| #6 | techyyy | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | Karo | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jfneidert | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Ravenzs | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Karo | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jfneidert | 207 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | hunter | 112 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | Xirt | 54 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ravenzs | 46 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | loltrip | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jfneidert | +3.52 | 94 | 62 |
| #2 | xxriotpro | +2.71 | 89 | 60 |
| #3 | Ravenzs | +2.16 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | Xirt | +1.70 | 79 | 82 |
| #5 | Karo | +0.49 | 86 | 74 |





