








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 433 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7531 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8558 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6138 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4431 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,735,323 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiro | 65% | 68 |
| #2 | bopin crowa5 | 61% | 148 |
| #3 | dyldied | 59% | 82 |
| #4 | wool | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | VanityXIX | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dyldied | 59% | 82 |
| #4 | wool | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | VanityXIX | 48% | 56 |
| #6 | fknbubbles | 48% | 44 |
| #7 | Thrifty | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyldied | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Shiro | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | wool | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | bopin crowa5 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | VanityXIX | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyldied | 476 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #2 | fknbubbles | 335 | 0.37 | 11 min |
| #3 | wool | 309 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | bopin crowa5 | 253 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | VanityXIX | 155 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fknbubbles | +2.60 | 72 | 76 |
| #2 | dyldied | +2.11 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | bopin azuna | +1.38 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | wool | +1.32 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | Thrifty | +0.18 | 60 | 62 |





