










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
527 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 24% |
| Smokes | 691 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 725 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 760 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,101 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaChO | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | [Staub]Sauger👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂ | 50% | 60 |
| #3 | ۞T۞a۞r۞D۞i۞a۞N | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | sebbqq | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaChO | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | [Staub]Sauger👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂ | 50% | 60 |
| #3 | ۞T۞a۞r۞D۞i۞a۞N | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | sebbqq | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Staub]Sauger👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂ | 12 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | NaChO | 3 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Staub]Sauger👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂ | 176 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | NaChO | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | ۞T۞a۞r۞D۞i۞a۞N | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | sebbqq | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaChO | +2.05 | 24 | 52 |
| #2 | [Staub]Sauger👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂ | +1.07 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | ۞T۞a۞r۞D۞i۞a۞N | -0.24 | 36 | 60 |
| #4 | Leitz | -1.85 | 23 | 58 |
| #5 | sebbqq | -2.52 | 44 | 25 |





