








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 472 | 15% |
| Smokes | 295 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1524 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 779 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,813 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaChO | 10 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Gabagool? Over Here!!! | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Nukezz | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ماركو | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ۞T۞a۞r۞D۞i۞a۞N | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nukezz | 79 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | blam. | 72 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Davelord ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 59 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | [Staub]Sauger👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂ | 50 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ماركو | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Davelord ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +7.32 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | Nukezz | +6.07 | 75 | 47 |
| #3 | blam. | +5.42 | 88 | 67 |
| #4 | [Staub]Sauger👳🏿♂️👳🏿♂ | +4.98 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | Masoj | +2.99 | 59 | 60 |





