








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1725 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2356 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2138 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,063,120 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 860 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rewardz | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Butter | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Rudzy | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | Nailbag | 63% | 38 |
| #5 | Scipio butts | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schlump Cresva | 153 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nailbag | 109 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rewardz | 86 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rudzy | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Dopa Meme | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doll Toe | +2.95 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | Schlump Cresva | +2.81 | 74 | 76 |
| #3 | Rewardz | +2.68 | 35 | 55 |
| #4 | Rudzy | +1.65 | 69 | 55 |
| #5 | Butter | +1.53 | 33 | 15 |





