








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3023 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4102 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2635 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1663 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,607 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 908 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doll Toe | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | dood | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | dood | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Nailbag | 49% | 258 |
| #5 | Scipio butts | 46% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dood | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Nailbag | 49% | 258 |
| #5 | Scipio butts | 46% | 114 |
| #6 | sloppy cums | 42% | 76 |
| #7 | Dopa Meme | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nailbag | 24 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Scipio butts | 15 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | sloppy cums | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Dopa Meme | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | dood | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nailbag | 735 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | sloppy cums | 272 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Scipio butts | 93 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dopa Meme | 88 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Doll Toe | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doll Toe | +4.36 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | dood | +3.40 | 78 | 42 |
| #3 | Rewardz | +0.93 | 38 | 56 |
| #4 | dood | +0.79 | 66 | 37 |
| #5 | Dopa Meme | -0.25 | 69 | 41 |





