








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9160 | 46% |
| Smokes | 5427 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2567 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2973 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,408,286 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spoody | 53% | 282 |
| #2 | Kenny | 52% | 581 |
| #3 | Lang in the Muck | 50% | 484 |
| #4 | pumaballz | 48% | 111 |
| #5 | Je suis coach | 39% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny | 37 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Lang in the Muck | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Spoody | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | pumaballz | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Je suis coach | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny | +0.92 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | Spoody | +0.67 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | m0nesy's cum stain | +0.43 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | pumaballz | +0.06 | 61 | 15 |
| #5 | Lang in the Muck | -1.06 | 52 | 58 |





