








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 547 | 24% |
| Smokes | 535 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 606 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,437 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiHawk | 100% | 7 |
| #2 | joy lobo | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | Gab- | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | neorah | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | WasteOfAmmo | 78% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | bpv | 60% | 48 |
| #14 | sunn | 57% | 14 |
| #15 | Vx | 50% | 8 |
| #16 | EnfieLd | 50% | 12 |
| #17 | Astratez | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🎃 | 7 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Astratez | 4 | 0.0173 |
| #3 | bpv | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | sunn | 3 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | thekingrenz | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bpv | 177 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | 🎃 | 144 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | thekingrenz | 92 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | kiky | 72 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| #5 | WasteOfAmmo | 44 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neorah | +5.82 | 93 | 78 |
| #2 | WasteOfAmmo | +4.70 | 58 | 65 |
| #3 | Gab- | +3.51 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | MiHawk | +3.51 | 95 | 63 |
| #5 | zui | +2.79 | 93 | 32 |





