








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1070 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1264 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1726 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1066 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1667 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,162,947 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 671 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IV | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | jes | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Chickeninja | 61% | 83 |
| #4 | Null | 58% | 62 |
| #5 | Habibi | 55% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chickeninja | 61% | 83 |
| #4 | Null | 58% | 62 |
| #5 | Habibi | 55% | 51 |
| #6 | JebediahJorts | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Angel | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chickeninja | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Null | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Habibi | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | IV | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Angel | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chickeninja | 361 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Null | 273 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | jes | 109 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | IV | 67 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Habibi | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carson | +2.04 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | Chickeninja | +1.78 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | jes | +1.74 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | Null | +1.19 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | JebediahJorts | +0.51 | 73 | 65 |





