








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1120 | 27% |
| Smokes | 876 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1054 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1134 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,981 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carson | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | 20Brandon01 | 60% | 70 |
| #3 | Switchbolt | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Cheetah | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | John Wyoming | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carson | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | 20Brandon01 | 60% | 70 |
| #3 | Switchbolt | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Cheetah | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | John Wyoming | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheetah | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | 20Brandon01 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Carson | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Switchbolt | 164 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | 20Brandon01 | 106 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Carson | 52 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cheetah | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | John Wyoming | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IV | +2.27 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Carson | +2.06 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | 20Brandon01 | +0.38 | 53 | 65 |
| #4 | John Wyoming | -0.75 | 80 | 43 |
| #5 | Cheetah | -0.90 | 77 | 36 |





