








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1647 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2099 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1305 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1955 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,435 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smi | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | Tanttis | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | lepu | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | hh | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Jara | 63% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | 竈門 炭治郎 | 55% | 11 |
| #12 | niemelä | 52% | 42 |
| #13 | Jobbi$ | 51% | 69 |
| #14 | Lenni | 47% | 15 |
| #15 | makeli | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erkki | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Jobbi$ | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ♠ AnY | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | niemelä | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Tikkari8 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erkki | 282 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | edu | 253 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #3 | ♠ AnY | 211 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jobbi$ | 187 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tikkari8 | 178 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jara | +2.35 | 87 | 80 |
| #2 | edu | +1.91 | 82 | 79 |
| #3 | ♠ AnY | +1.32 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | LoneX | +1.30 | 88 | 67 |
| #5 | hh | +1.16 | 93 | 65 |





