








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 878 | 30% |
| Smokes | 583 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1019 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 419 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $280,830 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smi | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | ♠ AnY | 59% | 44 |
| #3 | LoneX | 58% | 93 |
| #4 | Erkki | 57% | 87 |
| #5 | niemelä | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | röökil | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | Jobbi$ | 56% | 25 |
| #8 | 竈門 炭治郎 | 56% | 9 |
| #9 | Tikkari8 | 53% | 62 |
| #10 | Lenni | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erkki | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ♠ AnY | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Jobbi$ | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | LoneX | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Tikkari8 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erkki | 242 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | LoneX | 236 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | ♠ AnY | 164 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tikkari8 | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jobbi$ | 84 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niemelä | +2.37 | 67 | 72 |
| #2 | ♠ AnY | +1.95 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | Jobbi$ | +1.73 | 89 | 65 |
| #4 | LoneX | +1.49 | 90 | 62 |
| #5 | Erkki | +1.34 | 82 | 57 |





