








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5794 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4633 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2826 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3106 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,035 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 黒鉄 | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | ben | 53% | 83 |
| #3 | italian plumber | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | 𝖈𝖔𝖈𝖔 | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | CoN | 51% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | TREFFNIXX | 49% | 43 |
| #10 | Curtains Call | 48% | 246 |
| #11 | Mickey | 44% | 27 |
| #12 | trq- | 41% | 46 |
| #13 | Fisheye7x | 38% | 21 |





