








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 649 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,355 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6785 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7507 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5344 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5719 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,603,841 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1547 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | TREFFNIXX | 48% | 372 |
| #11 | CoN | 48% | 554 |
| #12 | ben | 47% | 257 |
| #13 | Mickey | 43% | 109 |
| #14 | TheScatman | 42% | 107 |





