








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3005 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2439 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1782 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2544 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,896 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🅳🆉✘ | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | ? Sean CS.MONEY | 85% | 13 |
| #3 | DaSh | 75% | 16 |
| #4 | ✘Dash Granny✘ | 73% | 26 |
| #5 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | 70% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | LOLYOU | 58% | 19 |
| #12 | LukeG | 57% | 21 |
| #13 | mob | 57% | 86 |
| #14 | | 52% | 23 |
| #15 | Excessive | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ihatejess | 9 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | mob | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ? Sean CS.MONEY | 6 | 0.0226 |
| #4 | ✘Bullock✘ | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | benji | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mob | 303 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✘Bullock✘ | 254 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | 117 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | benji | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | wipeout | 85 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wipeout | +4.21 | 88 | 74 |
| #2 | ttv/iceyyyyy_za | +3.56 | 86 | 75 |
| #3 | Creative | +2.87 | 85 | 75 |
| #4 | Excessive | +2.50 | 85 | 68 |
| #5 | DaSh | +2.48 | 95 | 57 |





