








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 226 matches | ||
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3997 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5090 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4347 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3050 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,999,731 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kurt from Sales | 51% | 531 |
| #6 | nofrown | 50% | 121 |
| #7 | shlomy | 50% | 283 |
| #8 | holly | 47% | 196 |
| #9 | Zephira | 45% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dazogog | +3.42 | 75 | 45 |
| #2 | Resad | +2.31 | 63 | 52 |
| #3 | shlomy | +0.34 | 57 | 62 |
| #4 | Yayson | +0.26 | 46 | 57 |
| #5 | CaseyZun | -0.79 | 46 | 61 |





