








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3024 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2840 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3632 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2575 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,129 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 607 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | hjalle | 47% | 116 |
| #6 | jimmy bap | 43% | 127 |
| #7 | Agera | 42% | 48 |
| #8 | Anne "Sprute" Guri | 42% | 96 |
| #9 | PureOGS | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimmy bap | 447 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | larry | 299 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | hjalle | 134 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | tullit0 | 121 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Agera | 103 | 0.11 | 2 min |





