








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2429 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2284 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4268 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2835 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,448 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ErkkiT | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | AnjaT | 73% | 37 |
| #3 | cArma. | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | TEHU | 67% | 21 |
| #5 | M1kstarFTW | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ErkkiT | 356 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Swim Kiks | 321 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | muki | 167 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | ErkkiT | 75 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | rass | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |





