








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2608 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1396 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2776 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1924 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,870 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheldon_Sniper | 50% | 82 |
| #2 | ✪PrOsPeR | 48% | 127 |
| #3 | PG-PaT :D | 45% | 133 |
| #4 | Hazzer | 44% | 115 |
| #5 | Big_Melon | 44% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PG-PaT :D | 45% | 133 |
| #4 | Hazzer | 44% | 115 |
| #5 | Big_Melon | 44% | 100 |
| #6 | Dadz | 42% | 89 |
| #7 | Gruffalo | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazzer | 18 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Dadz | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | PG-PaT :D | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sheldon_Sniper | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | ✪PrOsPeR | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazzer | 383 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | PG-PaT :D | 291 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪PrOsPeR | 291 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sheldon_Sniper | 235 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Big_Melon | 231 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheldon_Sniper | +4.30 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Big_Melon | +1.57 | 54 | 53 |
| #3 | Hazzer | +1.57 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | PG-PaT :D | +0.48 | 65 | 58 |
| #5 | Dadz | -0.28 | 80 | 36 |





