








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 328 | 17% |
| Smokes | 465 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 389 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $346,674 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | husseinberg | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | Sheldon_Sniper | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | Big_Melon | 46% | 57 |
| #4 | ✪PrOsPeR | 45% | 49 |
| #5 | Gruffalo | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪PrOsPeR | 45% | 49 |
| #5 | Gruffalo | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | BigNeb | 42% | 89 |
| #7 | PG-PaT :D | 41% | 83 |
| #8 | Hazzer | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigNeb | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Hazzer | 10 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Sheldon_Sniper | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | PG-PaT :D | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Big_Melon | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigNeb | 336 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sheldon_Sniper | 174 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | PG-PaT :D | 154 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Big_Melon | 120 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪PrOsPeR | 113 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheldon_Sniper | +3.53 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Big_Melon | +1.29 | 54 | 59 |
| #3 | Hazzer | +0.18 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | PG-PaT :D | -0.28 | 65 | 55 |
| #5 | Dadz | -0.48 | 78 | 35 |





