








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 662 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4180 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2855 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1852 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2677 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,069,245 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 903 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schweinBESTEIGER | 63% | 73 |
| #2 | Medikamenten Manfred | 56% | 218 |
| #3 | Xjkey™ | 55% | 144 |
| #4 | ✪ TITanIumS® | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | FizzyBurr | 53% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Xjkey™ | 55% | 144 |
| #4 | ✪ TITanIumS® | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | FizzyBurr | 53% | 200 |
| #6 | Everest | 52% | 29 |
| #7 | downSTEIGER | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FizzyBurr | 36 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Xjkey™ | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Medikamenten Manfred | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | schweinBESTEIGER | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | ✪ TITanIumS® | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FizzyBurr | 861 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | Xjkey™ | 522 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | ✪ TITanIumS® | 335 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | Medikamenten Manfred | 236 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | schweinBESTEIGER | 112 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everest | +1.49 | 67 | 54 |
| #2 | FizzyBurr | +0.55 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | KingRobert#JefeMaximo | +0.41 | 79 | 59 |
| #4 | Medikamenten Manfred | +0.32 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | Xjkey™ | -0.49 | 46 | 72 |





