








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 784 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4898 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4342 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3409 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3657 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,998 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everest | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | schweinBESTEIGER | 59% | 49 |
| #3 | Medikamenten Manfred | 57% | 217 |
| #4 | Xjkey™ | 55% | 153 |
| #5 | ✪ TITanIumS® | 53% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | KingRobert#JefeMaximo | 53% | 200 |
| #7 | Smillez | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | downSTEIGER | 49% | 61 |
| #9 | Laimura | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | zanggl | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KingRobert#JefeMaximo | 38 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Medikamenten Manfred | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Xjkey™ | 17 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | downSTEIGER | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | schweinBESTEIGER | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xjkey™ | 658 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | KingRobert#JefeMaximo | 594 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | ✪ TITanIumS® | 386 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #4 | Medikamenten Manfred | 248 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Smillez | 79 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smillez | +4.90 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | Everest | +0.92 | 74 | 52 |
| #3 | FizzyBurr | +0.84 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | KingRobert#JefeMaximo | +0.60 | 80 | 59 |
| #5 | Medikamenten Manfred | +0.58 | 63 | 60 |





