








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 434 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4543 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2775 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2494 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2467 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,235,779 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yellow | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | fatfuck 𓆩≽^•⩊•^≼𓆪∝ ◤ | 63% | 54 |
| #3 | medkit | 59% | 121 |
| #4 | widedog | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | raas | 57% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaserbeam | +2.03 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | fatfuck 𓆩≽^•⩊•^≼𓆪∝ ◤ | +0.83 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | widedog | +0.75 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | Yellow | +0.69 | 76 | 54 |
| #5 | K|ng 𓆩≽^•♕•^≼𓆪 | +0.34 | 68 | 61 |





