








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3019 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2645 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1105 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,625,157 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brice de Nice | 47% | 156 |
| #2 | Alecqss | 47% | 66 |
| #3 | Kerchak | 47% | 103 |
| #4 | ZarKyo | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | Fast fucker (4s max) | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Alecqss | 47% | 66 |
| #3 | Kerchak | 47% | 103 |
| #4 | ZarKyo | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | Fast fucker (4s max) | 35% | 43 |
| #6 | rotten pancake | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fast fucker (4s max) | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Alecqss | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Kerchak | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Brice de Nice | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ZarKyo | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brice de Nice | 656 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | Kerchak | 344 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | ZarKyo | 177 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | rotten pancake | 128 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Fast fucker (4s max) | 101 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brice de Nice | +2.26 | 50 | 70 |
| #2 | Alecqss | +1.81 | 52 | 56 |
| #3 | LiXiUm | +0.66 | 54 | 31 |
| #4 | ZarKyo | -0.02 | 31 | 62 |
| #5 | rotten pancake | -0.88 | 29 | 62 |





