








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3361 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3791 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3965 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3003 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,711,915 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr0st | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | Wil3x | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Silence | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | ✪ Chillkröte | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | DeTu | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silence | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Tschmiki | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Wil3x | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | DeTu | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ?ZipZap :) | 1 | 0.0018 |





