








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 5% |
| Smokes | 4903 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 5438 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2703 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,908 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adriortizz | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | CapitanPataNegra | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Sandix | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Juman^! | 54% | 157 |
| #5 | Jhonny | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Majin Boo :) | 45% | 58 |
| #9 | vaisent | 44% | 72 |
| #10 | MostazaJD | 44% | 75 |
| #11 | nΛrΛnjitΛ | 42% | 24 |
| #12 | ->TriLeRo<- | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juman^! | 21 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | MostazaJD | 12 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | vaisent | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Adriortizz | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Pemblues | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juman^! | 649 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | MostazaJD | 196 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Pemblues | 158 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | vaisent | 157 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jhonny | 124 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juman^! | +2.28 | 36 | 91 |
| #2 | ermahrreshu | +2.25 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | Adriortizz | +1.86 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | Sandix | +0.82 | 55 | 60 |
| #5 | Pemblues | +0.76 | 62 | 70 |





