










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
99 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 93 | 50% |
| Smokes | 14 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 59 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 21 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,800 of utility $282 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crosby | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ?Lag The What | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Rod Jay | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Michaud252 | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Crosby | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ?Lag The What | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Rod Jay | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Michaud252 | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Crosby | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | kirk1901 | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crosby | 4 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | ?Lag The What | 3 | 0.0219 |
| #3 | Rod Jay | 1 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michaud252 | 64 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Crosby | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | kirk1901 | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | ?Lag The What | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Crosby | 1 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crosby | +10.07 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Crosby | +4.01 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Michaud252 | +0.35 | 53 | 69 |
| #4 | Rod Jay | -0.08 | 37 | 52 |
| #5 | GhostyToasty | -2.22 | 53 | 37 |





