








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 37% |
| Smokes | 182 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 125 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 327 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $360,884 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dowt00 | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | Michaud252 | 48% | 77 |
| #3 | Crosby | 47% | 77 |
| #4 | Rod Jay | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Crosby | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Rod Jay | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Crosby | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | GhostyToasty | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | ?Lag The What | 39% | 36 |
| #8 | Osiris | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crosby | 21 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Michaud252 | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | ?Lag The What | 7 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Crosby | 3 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | Rod Jay | 2 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michaud252 | 290 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Crosby | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | ?Lag The What | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Crosby | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | GhostyToasty | 18 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crosby | +4.59 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | Crosby | +3.31 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | Dowt00 | +0.21 | 75 | 25 |
| #4 | Michaud252 | -0.29 | 48 | 64 |
| #5 | GhostyToasty | -1.47 | 46 | 35 |





