








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3458 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2815 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1753 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2506 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $214,603 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gus | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | mjaay | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | Matt!E | 80% | 49 |
| #4 | ne1337xD | 79% | 14 |
| #5 | Mada | 79% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Assistha | 72% | 112 |
| #10 | Brostormzz | 72% | 50 |
| #11 | GumpeDumpe ☂ | 71% | 48 |
| #12 | t0x_- | 70% | 43 |
| #13 | Jenner | 69% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emwolb | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Johnnou_ | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | mjaay | 2 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Matt!E | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Brostormzz | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emwolb | 260 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Matt!E | 259 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | Assistha | 196 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Johnnou_ | 136 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | GumpeDumpe ☂ | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | +5.79 | 87 | 75 |
| #2 | Johnnou_ | +1.26 | 83 | 76 |
| #3 | mjaay | +1.15 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | emwolb | +1.14 | 78 | 75 |
| #5 | Mada | +0.65 | 61 | 70 |





