








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1812 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1647 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1935 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1456 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $365,166 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GumpeDumpe ☂ | 76% | 46 |
| #2 | bob | 75% | 108 |
| #3 | Matt!E | 69% | 48 |
| #4 | Assistha | 68% | 114 |
| #5 | Brostormzz | 64% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Matt!E | 69% | 48 |
| #4 | Assistha | 68% | 114 |
| #5 | Brostormzz | 64% | 61 |
| #6 | Jenner | 64% | 22 |
| #7 | t0x_- | 61% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brostormzz | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | bob | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Matt!E | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Jenner | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | 447 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Matt!E | 214 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Assistha | 209 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Brostormzz | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | t0x_- | 101 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | +6.44 | 88 | 78 |
| #2 | emwolb | +1.26 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | Matt!E | +0.54 | 53 | 78 |
| #4 | Brostormzz | +0.18 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | GumpeDumpe ☂ | -0.41 | 42 | 68 |





