








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 32 matches | 2,362 | |
| Faceit | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 503 | 27% |
| Smokes | 586 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 316 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 486 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $192,708 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ralleballe_ | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Lekr0 | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | maxster | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | doug | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | PuRjO | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PuRjO | 55% | 20 |
| #6 | mentalt stark | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | Draken | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | HEAP | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Sapec | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doug | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ralleballe_ | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | mentalt stark | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doug | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | PuRjO | 58 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | ralleballe_ | 51 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Draken | 40 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | mentalt stark | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svedjehed | +3.57 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | doug | +3.31 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | maxster | +2.19 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | HEAP | +1.77 | 95 | 70 |
| #5 | Lekr0 | +0.97 | 87 | 83 |





