








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1326 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1648 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1359 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1120 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,916 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lazy | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Elias | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | LULEINBLÜMELEIN | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | J A Y J E R I N O | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Scope | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Elias | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | LULEINBLÜMELEIN | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | J A Y J E R I N O | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Scope | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | xrayy | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xrayy | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elias | 147 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lazy | 57 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | xrayy | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | LULEINBLÜMELEIN | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | J A Y J E R I N O | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elias | +2.13 | 72 | 77 |
| #2 | Lazy | +2.05 | 67 | 77 |
| #3 | J A Y J E R I N O | +1.44 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | Firex | +1.08 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | xrayy | +0.17 | 62 | 72 |





