








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1108 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1328 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 626 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1465 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $473,058 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jung | 63% | 41 |
| #8 | shifty | 62% | 86 |
| #9 | Dark Potato | 61% | 92 |
| #10 | COMRADSNIPER | 54% | 56 |
| #11 | Teej | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark Potato | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | shifty | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | COMRADSNIPER | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ToXiC_SLaYeR_99 | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | intense | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark Potato | 338 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | COMRADSNIPER | 277 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | ToXiC_SLaYeR_99 | 135 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | yrneh | 125 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | shifty | 122 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shifty | +2.04 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | COMRADSNIPER | +1.64 | 63 | 65 |
| #3 | Dark Potato | +1.61 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | intense | +1.58 | 79 | 44 |
| #5 | yrneh | +1.34 | 78 | 61 |





