








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2371 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2655 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1916 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2296 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,180 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_HaZarddd.ttv | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | shifty | 67% | 91 |
| #3 | Jung | 66% | 50 |
| #4 | seabass | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | Vye | 63% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Teej | 61% | 23 |
| #8 | Crisis | 61% | 92 |
| #9 | COMRADSNIPER | 58% | 71 |
| #10 | Rabbitt | 57% | 88 |
| #11 | wisp | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shifty | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Crisis | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | COMRADSNIPER | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Jung | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Vye | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COMRADSNIPER | 310 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Rabbitt | 274 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Crisis | 217 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Vye | 174 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | seabass | 138 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark Potato | +3.22 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | shifty | +2.11 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | COMRADSNIPER | +1.42 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | Jung | +1.12 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | Teej | +0.36 | 56 | 69 |





