








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1038 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1955 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2176 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,228,284 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cal | 38 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | Big Ash | 17 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Fagu | 15 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | hAze | 14 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Bubbles >_< uWu | 10 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cal | 484 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | hAze | 351 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | Big Ash | 286 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | brYce | 222 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | ULTRXX | 134 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ULTRXX | +4.93 | 95 | 59 |
| #2 | y3 | +4.54 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | hAze | +3.46 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | cal | +3.39 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | St0p_Me I love Jack | +2.36 | 94 | 62 |





