








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 977 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3334 | 54% |
| Smokes | 623 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1467 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 735 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,552 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peter the defeater | 61% | 57 |
| #2 | NeptuniaFangirl0105 | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | Dorothy | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | Agent 9029 | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Läderlappen | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yes | 17 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Dorothy | 14 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | peter the defeater | 11 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Ambystoma mexicanum | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | NeptuniaFangirl0105 | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agent 9029 | 118 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | NeptuniaFangirl0105 | 108 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | yes | 93 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Läderlappen | 79 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ambystoma mexicanum | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Läderlappen | +5.93 | 74 | 52 |
| #2 | Danny Thavitos | +4.32 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | NeptuniaFangirl0105 | +2.99 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | Agent 9029 | +1.73 | 60 | 49 |
| #5 | peter the defeater | -0.00 | 32 | 29 |





