








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1072 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1144 | 38% |
| Smokes | 842 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 389 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,267 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scarlet Justice Supreme Avenger | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | Danny Thavitos | 50% | 125 |
| #3 | Agent 9029 | 48% | 64 |
| #4 | LittleNebula | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | Läderlappen | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | KieranBKBK | 40% | 50 |
| #13 | Aquiii | 36% | 56 |
| #14 | jacobop13 | 32% | 25 |
| #15 | jstyn | 32% | 57 |
| #16 | the ULTIMATE employee | 32% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dorothy | 18 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Danny Thavitos | 17 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Ambystoma mexicanum | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Mew_Zedong.FaZe | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Läderlappen | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the ULTIMATE employee | 334 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | Danny Thavitos | 333 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Agent 9029 | 237 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | jstyn | 184 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Chief Beer | 167 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Läderlappen | +5.00 | 68 | 54 |
| #2 | Danny Thavitos | +4.34 | 82 | 51 |
| #3 | jstyn | +2.73 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | Mew_Zedong.FaZe | +2.23 | 54 | 39 |
| #5 | Agent 9029 | +1.01 | 58 | 52 |





