








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Faceit | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5766 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7910 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6739 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6237 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,957,483 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jouni | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | GArY | 54% | 130 |
| #3 | Pylväs | 54% | 114 |
| #4 | -Betzku- | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | LENNART | 53% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malmin Walde | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Croixii | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | GArY | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Bangerson | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | KINKKU69 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LENNART | 878 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | Malmin Walde | 778 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #3 | Kn0cki | 604 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | Croixii | 548 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #5 | GArY | 325 | 0.11 | 7 min |





