








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 138 | 22% |
| Smokes | 161 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 109 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 220 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,169 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Teffy | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | SWAG MESSIAH | 33% | 27 |
| #6 | ontos | 32% | 38 |
| #7 | fv | 30% | 33 |
| #8 | maki | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luka zont1x | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | ontos | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | fv | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Teffy | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | maya | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ontos | 320 | 0.40 | 10 min |
| #2 | fv | 121 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Teffy | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | SWAG MESSIAH | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | maya | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ontos | +3.26 | 87 | 85 |
| #2 | maya | +2.72 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | luka zont1x | +1.46 | 68 | 40 |
| #4 | fv | +0.98 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Teffy | +0.62 | 84 | 37 |





