








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 750 | 27% |
| Smokes | 674 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 635 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,515 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gold Top | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Agent 47 | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | mr.killem | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Verstappen | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Big D | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Dre. | 50% | 18 |
| #11 | ShAkin | 47% | 19 |
| #12 | stalver_01 | 46% | 26 |
| #13 | Petr11 | 43% | 7 |
| #14 | Felix-G | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeTerrence | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Big D | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Unkynubnub | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeTerrence | 61 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Big D | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | stalver_01 | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dre. | 56 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | jimmy! | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stalver_01 | +3.15 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Agent 47 | +2.68 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | mr.killem | +1.86 | 51 | 71 |
| #4 | ./ BurneyProMod | +1.78 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | Felix-G | +1.12 | 56 | 40 |





