








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3269 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3725 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2562 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3192 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,553,738 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | zavi | 53% | 72 |
| #9 | tj3y | 51% | 150 |
| #10 | shutinputin | 47% | 191 |
| #11 | Dios | 46% | 35 |
| #12 | Blue Ball Bouncer | 45% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tj3y | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | ReXღ ツ | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Blue Ball Bouncer | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | shutinputin | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | zavi | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReXღ ツ | 828 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | Blue Ball Bouncer | 661 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | tj3y | 412 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | shutinputin | 212 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 212 | 0.20 | 5 min |





