










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 901 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1241 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2356 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1653 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1104 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,844 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 796 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ixixix | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | Narnia Business | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | 𝐊𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐡𝐚 | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Gisti | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Ben246813 | 57% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben246813 | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Oxygen | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | ixixix | 71 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Yu Mei | 51 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |





