










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1334 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1220 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1176 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1135 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,206 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ted | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | 𝐊𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐡𝐚 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | 57% | 89 |
| #4 | BAPZ | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | BigDylYo | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | 57% | 89 |
| #4 | BAPZ | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | BigDylYo | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Elon Musque (Taylor's Version) | 50% | 42 |
| #7 | GlobaS? | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Elon Musque (Taylor's Version) | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | BAPZ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Ted | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | GlobaS? | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | 159 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ted | 125 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | BAPZ | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Elon Musque (Taylor's Version) | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | 𝐊𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐡𝐚 | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐊𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐡𝐚 | +6.49 | 53 | 74 |
| #2 | Ted | +3.16 | 56 | 74 |
| #3 | BigDylYo | +2.97 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | BAPZ | +2.05 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚗𝚎𝚕 | +1.31 | 46 | 66 |





