








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3155 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2176 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1400 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1776 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $168,036 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Carteira de Trabalho | 38% | 65 |
| #12 | Cethiinah | 38% | 24 |
| #13 | Galow | 35% | 43 |
| #14 | Alvin e as primas do Fillus | 33% | 12 |
| #15 | RONALDINHO GALUDO | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlinhos Bala Filósofo | 9 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | William Bomber | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | eL1GOD ♛ | 4 | 0.0219 |
| #4 | Fillus | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Carteira de Trabalho | 1 | 0.0010 |





