










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 358 | 17% |
| Smokes | 675 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 643 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 406 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $330,781 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongo Peter | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | Mesnil | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | JLM | 37% | 81 |
| #4 | SeRgEnT_KC | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | -SANTA-Julemanden | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongo Peter | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | Mesnil | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | JLM | 37% | 81 |
| #4 | SeRgEnT_KC | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | -SANTA-Julemanden | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongo Peter | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | JLM | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | SeRgEnT_KC | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Mesnil | 2 | 0.0174 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongo Peter | 105 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | JLM | 81 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | SeRgEnT_KC | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mesnil | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | -SANTA-Julemanden | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mesnil | +10.24 | 72 | 40 |
| #2 | Bongo Peter | +3.32 | 67 | 46 |
| #3 | JLM | +2.10 | 68 | 45 |
| #4 | SeRgEnT_KC | +1.44 | 28 | 64 |
| #5 | VikingDuck | -2.11 | 52 | 33 |





